


Kiss Me Goodbye

by rachellzeee



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Future Fic, M/M, Post-Graduation, because this is Oikage guys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-01
Updated: 2016-04-01
Packaged: 2018-05-30 12:56:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6424954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rachellzeee/pseuds/rachellzeee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>in which Oikawa thinks he knows everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kiss Me Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> For: All Oikage shippers. Thank you for your contributions to the ship. Since there is so little there, each and every piece of fiction or fanart is appreciated. I hope by contributing something it can be my way of saying "thank you."
> 
> This piece was inspired by the song "Kiss Me Goodbye" from the Final Fantasy XII soundtrack. If you want to suffer, go listen to that first then come back and read me.
> 
> (end notes contain spoilers!)

 

It was a clear day in early March.  There was a crisp feeling in the air, despite all nature finally seeming to come back to life.  The birds had started singing again after what seemed like an excruciatingly long winter.  Tooru Oikawa was walking down an all too familiar street towards Karasuno High School.  If you had told him two years ago that he would have been on his way here, he would have either told you that you must be stupid, or perhaps just let out one of his signature cackles.   He couldn’t help but laugh to himself as he approached the gathering crowds in front of the school. ‘Tobio-chan,’ he thought ‘…it’s been a long road, hasn’t it?’ Oikawa closed his eyes and mused to himself over the path that lead him to this point, this moment, in his life… 

\-------------------------

It was a few days after Karasuno had won the Spring Tournament and before they went to compete in Nationals.  Oikawa had gone on a run to clear his head, still reeling from losing to Karasuno, and Kageyama.   As he turned a corner, he could not believe what he saw in front of him.  It was almost as if his brain had inadvertently willed him to be there, but right ahead of him was insufferable Tobio Kageyama, waiting at a bus stop.  Oikawa contemplated just running by him.  There was no need for him to engage Tobio at all, and it seemed that he hadn’t noticed Oikawa either.  It was at this point that his body seemed like it was disobeying him and he jogged right up to Kageyama.

“Yoo-hoo Tobio-chan!” he said outloud while cursing himself on the inside.  Kageyama turned to face him,

“Oikawa-san.  We won.” He said, with a hopeful tone in his voice.  He wasn’t sure whether he was looking for praise, or something else, but it was the first thing he blurted out before even a greeting.

Oikawa stared at him and then laughed, almost too loudly “I’m fine, thanks for asking.  Jesus, Tobio, I see that your social skills have improved dramatically since the last time we spoke.” Tobio’s face flushed then, and his eyes traveled to the ground and he just seemed to shuffle his feet and look slightly annoyed. “I heard.” Oikawa said plainly, not waiting for Tobio to speak again.  And certainly not giving up the fact that he had actually been there.  Neither of them spoke, but they stood there for what seemed like an eternity until Oikawa said  “Hey, isn’t that your bus?” Oikawa pointed as the bus had already driven down the block.

 Kageyama followed Oikawa’s finger “…dammit.” He sighed. 

Oikawa shrugged and looked back at Kageyama, not expecting what he was going to say next even from himself: “Do you want to grab something to eat?” He motioned his head at the ramen restaurant a few doors down from the bus stop, and then I’ll wait with you for the next bus since it seems we got distracted in conversation?  You can tell me about the match and how it was all your senpai’s teachings that helped you to beat Shiratorizawa!” without waiting for a reply, Oikawa shoved Kageyama towards the restaurant.

\-------------------------

…Oikawa opened his eyes again and looked back up at Karasuno High School with a smile on his face.  After that lunch, he started to spend more time with Tobio.  He had to admit, at first it was slightly uncomfortable and awkward since it seemed that Tobio still could only manage stammers and grunts in front of him, but over time, he seemed to warm up.  Oikawa confessed to Tobio a little while later before he left for university, and they had been together since then.   Kageyama had been accepted into the same university as Oikawa, and tonight, Oikawa’s plan was to give Kageyama a key to his apartment and ask him to move in.  Oikawa clutched the small box in his pocket.  ‘This is what we have been waiting for, Tobio.’ he thought as he approached the door.

The place was filled with familiar faces.  Alumni from the Karasuno Volleyball Club were here to support their juniors.  ‘Ah, there’s chibi-chan.’ He saw the back of Hinata’s head and arms waving around talking to a still raven-haired figure.   Oikawa sat down and smiled.  His boyfriend was being talked at by his best friend.  Oikawa wondered what they were talking about, but sat back in his seat for the ceremony.  The pomp and circumstance was what you would expect from a high school graduation ceremony.  When Kageyama’s name was called, Oikawa couldn’t help but embarrass him a little bit “WOOOOOHOOOO TOBIO-CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!” As Kageyama was crossing the stage he made eye-contact with Oikawa, rolled his eyes, and walked off stage. 

\-------------------------

 After the ceremony had ended, they walked back to the Kageyama residence, hand in and, soaking in the leftover happiness.  As they approached the younger’s front door, Kageyama began to fumble for his keys to the house when Oikawa stopped him.  “I have something for you.” Kageyama continued to fumble for his keys, only half listening, assuming that Oikawa had something silly or ridiculous that could wait.  “Tobiooooo, please.” Oikawa pleaded, wanting his attention.

“Oikawa, just wait a second, let’s go inside.” He said has he finally managed to find his keys and open the door. 

The Kageyama residence was so familiar to him now, everything was very neat and organized.  There really wasn’t any sort of flair of any kind decorating the walls.  It was exactly what Oikawa had expected it would be knowing the kind of person that Kageyama was.  

“Let’s go upstairs.” Kageyama said. 

Oikawa lifted his brow to this suggestion “Oh?” and a playful smirk danced across his face. 

“Not for _that,_ you idiot.  We are meeting everyone at the Karasuno gym, remember? I just want to change.”  

Oikawa couldn’t hide the disappointment on his face “well, well, alright then.” And he shrugged and followed his boyfriend upstairs.  They both walked into Kageyama’s bedroom.  Oikawa flopped on the bed as he always did and stared at the ceiling. 

It was at this point where Kageyama said “Hey, I’m going to take a quick shower, I’ll be right back”

Oikawa sat and up, and whined “Alone?”

Kageyama sighed, “Yes. Just wait.”

Oikawa waved him off, “Fine, fine.” 

Kageyama grabbed his towel, still looking at Oikawa, smiled at him warmly, and then left the room.

Oikawa put his hand back in his pocket where he found the key box.  He took it out and examined it.  He then sat up and made this way over to Kageyama’s desk, where he placed the box on the corner and surveyed the mass amount of papers everywhere.  Oikawa started shuffling them around, attempting to organize them for his boyfriend “you can sure be a mess sometimes, Tobio” he laughed to himself.  The laughing abruptly stopped when he picked up the university entrance forms and noticed that Tobio had not filled them out yet.  They were due in a few days to secure his spot for next term.  Oikawa made a mental note at that point to make sure to give Kageyama a lecture about this, and to also help him fill them out later.  It was at that point that Oikawa noticed another piece of paper.  His breathing stopped and his eyes grew wider as he read:

\-------------------------

 

_Tobio Kageyama,_

_We have kept up with your career at Karasuno since you were a first year.  We are pleased to offer you a spot on the national training team.   Being a part of this team will be a starting point to moving onto the national team that competes worldwide.  The training period will be two years long, and which point we can review your options for your future with us.  The training period will be very intense, and we will require you to defer your university acceptance at this point so that you may travel with us as needed for the next two years.  We will start in Japan for a few weeks, and move onto the United States and Canada for a three month period in each, and then move onto the European circuit for another six months, before spending another year in Asia training there._

_Please let us know by March 15 if you accept this spot.  We will begin training on April 1._

_We look forward to working with you_

\-------------------------

 

Oikawa dropped the letter.   He felt a surge of different emotions at once, and was ashamed to admit that the first one was jealousy.  How had Tobio gotten his opportunity before he had even played at a university level?  Immediately after, he realized what this would mean if Tobio was to accept, which he had to.  This was an amazing opportunity.  Oikawa’s jumbled brain started to formulate a plan, he had to make sure that his Tobio took advantage of this.  As his mind was racing with how he would possibly do what he had to do next, he heard the door knob turn.  Oikawa jumped away from the desk as Tobio walked in.  Oikawa looked at him, he was so blissfully unaware that now Oikawa knew what he shouldn’t have.  Kageyama’s face was a little flushed from the heat in the bathroom and he looked so delicate that all Oikawa wanted to do was reach out and embrace him.  Instead,

“Hey, Tobio.  Remember outside I said I wanted to talk to you about something?” he started. 

Kageyama took the towel down from around his face and looked at Oikawa.  “Yeah, what’s that?” as he started to move around his room looking for a pair of socks. 

“Please, sit down, I actually need your attention for this.” Oikawa’s breathing became labored, but he was sure this was the right move.

Kageyama shot him a confused look as he moved towards his desk chair and took a seat. “Well that’s fine, because there’s something I want to talk to you about too” Tobio started…

“No.” Oikawa replied, all the warmth suddenly gone from his voice “I wanted to start, and I will make this quick.” He took a deep breath…

 

**“I don’t want to be with you anymore.”**

 

            The lie came out of his lips much easier than he expected it to, and now that he had started down this path, he knew he had to finish “I was waiting until after your exams to tell you, because it seemed like the right thing to do, but now that they are over, I couldn’t keep these feelings inside anymore.”

“I…don’t understand?” Kageyama looked genuinely confused, like Oikawa had said something in a foreign language that he couldn’t comprehend at first.  “Can we please talk about this?” he said as Oikawa’s words started to register in his brain, and he started to speak a little more desperately, “I don’t want to break up with you, especially now that we are going to be…” as Kageyama’s hand reached out for Oikawa’s, he abruptly slapped his hand away,

“Kageyama-san,” he snapped “enough.”   Kageyama’s eyes widened.  He could not remember when, if ever, Oikawa had referred to him by his family name

“Tooru…”   he said, weakly.  “Please listen to me, I don’t understand, why this all of the sudden?”

Oikawa was pretty sure that his heart had skipped a beat at that point.  Tobio had only very rarely referred to him using his first name, but he took a deep breath and said “I am your senior, Kageyama.  Show me respect.  It’s Oikawa.” he spat coldly.

 He continued to surprise himself.   As he stood up, Kageyama lifted his arm in protest “…please.” Oikawa looked at him again, and Tobio Kageyama somehow looked smaller than he had the first day he came to him begging for instructions on how to do a jump serve.

 Oikawa held his breath then, he had to make this count.  He couldn’t have Tobio running back to him, he had to make this final.  “I’m sorry Kageyama, I just do not feel that way about you.  I don’t want to be with you.” He once again made eye contact with the younger setter who looked absolutely lost in shock.  And before he could speak and make Oikawa lose his resolve, he swiftly got up and left.

\-------------------------

All of Oikawa’s feelings were resting right in his throat, as he moved blocks away from Tobio.  He thought he had done well in not betraying his emotions back at house, as the bus approached the stop, Oikawa felt an immense sense of relief.  He climbed onto the bus quickly, and took a seat back in the corner, rested his face in his hands so he could cry in peace.  

\-------------------------

A couple weeks had passed since then, and Kageyama never tried to reach out to him after that night.  Unfortunately, he also never left Oikawa’s thoughts.  He really was a mess.  He had his first class of the semester tomorrow, and he just was so unsure of how he was going to get himself together.  He sighed as his cell phone went off. 

The hope was always that it was Kageyama. 

The reality is that it never was. 

This time it was Iwaizumi, the message just said “Shittykawa.”  He sighed and tossed his phone to the side.  He really didn’t feel like interacting with anyone.  He didn’t want people to see him at this absolute bottom.  This wasn’t like a loss from volleyball.  Whenever you lose a match, there’s always the hope and thought that the next match is just around the corner.  Oikawa couldn’t bring himself to think of another relationship “just around the corner”.  

He took note of the date.  April 4th.  Kageyama had already probably left for the training.  He wondered how he was getting along with his new teammates.  Was he able to be open to directions from his other players, or had he reverted back to barking orders?  He knew that this was the best choice for his Tobio.  _His Tobio._ He had to get out of that habit. He let his mind drift to the thought of him setting up perfect spikes.  As he started to feel content and almost forgetting the situation he had gotten himself into, the door to his apartment flew open.

“You idiot.” The familiar voice of his best friend called out.  Oikawa was already cursing himself for not locking his damn door.  

“What do you want, Iwa-chan?” he replied without even moving. Iwaizumi stood over the couch where Oikawa was sulking and stared for a minute before starting

“You look pathetic, Tooru.  All you have done since you idiotically dumped Kageyama is mope.  Don’t you start practice in a few days, are you even planning on going?”

Oikawa turned over so his back was facing Iwazumi “…yes” he muttered back.  This infuriated his friend, who picked up a small paperback book that was resting on the coffee table, lifted his arm, and threw it down on Oikawa.  This made Oikawa jump and face his friend.

“In our time together,” he started “you have done some pretty stupid things.  Almost too many for me to count.. but this?  I don’t know if you could possibly be any dumber than you are right now.”

“What was I supposed to do Iwa-chan?” his voice started to break “If Tobio and I were still together, he may have chosen to stay behind for me…”

Iwaizumi’s annoyed expression remained unchanged “Kageyama is an adult, if that would have been his decision, it should have been _his_ to make.”

Oikawa shook his head “You don’t understand.”  Iwaizumi seemed to get angrier at every comment Oikawa made,

“I don’t understand? Actually, Tooru.  I understand perfectly.  You were selfish and you were scared.  You pushed Kageyama away before he could make the choice to push you away.  You wanted the control in that decision.”  Oikawa stared at him, taking in his words, but he just continued “and what you ended up doing, was making yourself miserable as well as making Kageyama miserable.”

Oikawa shook his hand in the air “How could he possibly be miserable?”  Iwaizumi headed towards the door, visibly frustrated at this interaction with his friend, before he left the turned around and said

“Kageyama never went anywhere.”

Oikawa’s thoughts became jumbled all at once.  At this, Oikawa finally snapped to. “What did you just say?” was all he could manage to stammer out. 

Iwaizumi had a satisfied smile on his face when he said “I saw Kageyama at the University bookstore before I came here.  He looked awful.  But at least he was out.” 

Oikawa started darting around his apartment, he brushed his teeth, smoothed his hair over, and grabbed his keys in record time.  “How long ago was that?” Oikawa asked as he fumbled with his things past his friend. 

Iwaizumi looked at his watch “I don’t know, maybe fifteen or twenty minutes ago?  It was right before I came here.  What are you going to do?” 

Oikawa was standing in his doorway putting his shoes on “I don’t know” he replied “but, Iwa-chan, I’m sorry I have to go.” 

Oikawa darted out of his apartment building and ran towards the college campus.  He had gotten his own apartment about three blocks away, so he was hoping he was close enough to still be able to catch Kageyama.   He made it to the bookstore in a matter of minutes, and was pretty sure he was running on pure adrenaline.  If Kageyama was still here, he had no idea how he could approach him or what he would say to him, but the fact was, _he was here_. He hadn’t gone.  With each passing second that his eyes darted around he became more and more deflated.  ‘Where is he?’ he thought to himself. 

He gave up.  He wasn’t here.  At least, not in this bookstore right now.  Oikawa walked over to the bench just outside of the student union and sat down.  He leaned back and said out loud “What an awful mess I’ve made of things, huh?”

“Yes, you idiot.” A reply that seemed to come from nowhere. Oikawa couldn’t move.   It couldn’t possibly be.  How many times had Tobio caught him talking to himself and then answered.   That voice that he hadn’t heard in weeks, even if it was calling him an idiot, was music to his ears.  He slowly turned his head, worried that he worked himself up too much, but that voice couldn’t have been anyone’s but his Tobio’s. 

Tobio walked over to the bench where Oikawa was sitting and took a seat next to him. “I wasn’t expecting to see you until tomorrow at practice” he somehow stammered out “so I’m ill equipped with words to say to you at this moment.”  Despite that, though, Tobio sighed and continued, “I think I’ve put all the pieces together.  I noticed some days after you left that the training offer was on top of all of my papers.”  Tobio became more worked up at this point, was it anger? Was it sadness? Every single emotion that Tobio had felt for the last few weeks had bubbled over into his next few sentences “You’re an absolute idiot, Oikawa.  If you had just talked to me about this, I could have told you that I had already declined this offer.  I had made my plans to come here with you.  I want to play on this team.  I want an education.  There is still so much time for that in my future, but this is _my_ choice.”  Oikawa reached a hand out to touch Kageyama’s, but he recoiled, “I’m not finished.” He started “I don’t understand how through everything we have been through, you couldn’t have spoken to me about this.  Why you had to break up with me over it?   What favors did you think you were doing me?”

Oikawa couldn’t meet his gaze.  He was right.  What was there to possibly say?

“I also found this.” Tobio held the key to what should have been their shared apartment “You didn’t come home with me to break up with me.”  

Oikawa smiled “No, Tobio-chan.” He looked up at the sky and thought of what mistakes he had made.  He wondered what Tobio’s plan with that key was now.  If he was enrolled in the University, he must have gotten a dorm assignment or his own apartment.

Tobio began again “Here.” he held it out.  “If you really don’t want to be with me anymore because of me, then take this back.  I have no use for it.” Oikawa stared blankly at Tobio, he didn’t know how to respond.  But he made no moves to take the key back, so Tobio spoke again “I can forgive you, Tooru.  You’re an idiot, and I didn’t get into this relationship not knowing that you would say and do stupid things from time to time…” Oikawa opened his mouth to speak, but Tobio kept going, “…but you need to trust that my decisions are mine, and whatever I choices I make for whatever reason I chose to make them are right for me.” Oikawa nodded.  He was out of words. 

He couldn’t believe that Tobio Kageyama, King of the Court, would give up such an amazing opportunity for him.

“It’s not because of you, Tooru.” Kageyama started, “…at least not totally.”

Oikawa laughed “Tobio-chan! It’s alright that you didn’t want to be away from me!” Tobio rolled his eyes, and then smiled warmly back, “You really are an idiot.”

Oikawa offered his hand, and Tobio took it.

 

 

                                                                                                                                    

**Author's Note:**

> A huge part of me wanted to leave them broken up, but I just couldn't ;;___;; precious babies. Also, I haven't read the manga, but I tried my best to fact check with what I could find on the internet or ask a friend. My apologies of something is WAY OFF current manga canon.


End file.
